Before I accepted Jesus as my saviour, my philosophy of life was,"A man should help himself. Hard works and steady efforts must be always rewarded.." I regarded myself a very strong man and when something interesting appearded before me, I immediatelly grabbed it and got deeply involved in it quickly.. " Make a run toward the goal"was my principal for everything. And actually I did so with the young man's power, never asking the help from others.

Overstrained life

　Entering a technical high school,I studied mechanical engineering, and did quite well in the class. At the National College of Technology after the high school, I was chosen as one of the national representatives for World Skills. The words of praise always surounded me, " He will be successful in any company", and I began to have plenty of confidence in myself.

However, when recalling now, I must have been leading a really overstrained life.

　Graduating from the National College of Technology, I joined a company where my ability was also much appreciated and after one year, I was given an important position to be in charge of the difficult tasks.

The work became everything for me then and I did't take a leave even when I had a cold. Late-night overtime work was almost everyday affair and taking vacations was out of the question. Due to such hard working, my weight began to decrease and smile faded from my face.

Stress and tiredness deteriorated my health.

　It happened one day of the third year of my company life. During the working time, I felt heat at my back and neck accompanied by sharp pain. At the same time, my hands were seized with clamp. I immediately left the work place and visited a hospital. The doctor conducted a X-ray test but could not find any problem. He decided to give me medicines and wait and see what will happen. Strong pain did not leave me. But, the doctor could not find problems even by MRI and blood test. With pain from unknown cause and mental stress,I could hardly continue my job and began to take a day off quite often.

　The pain was getting stronger which caused me a serious insomnia and mental instability and finally but reluctantly, I decided to visit a psychiatrist..

　After an examination, the psychiatrist flatly said, "You are suffering a typical depression."

　His words shocked me and I was almost staggered.Tears came out from my eyes when I was returning home. So far in my life, I had been just rushing toword the goal, believing that I was strong enough to do so, and have nothing to do with a mental disease. That strong man is now suffering depression! I could not accept the realty.Tears continued running down my cheeks.

My health conditions was getting worse and I lost my job…

After being diagnosed as a deppression, I took two weeks leave from the company but eventually another three months was necessary as my conditions did not turn better. To make the matter worse, I could not be getting well with the psychiatrist and doseage of medicine was increasing. Sometimes, I could not sleep for few days which made me highly emotional. To escape those pains, I began to drink alcohol and was almost addicted to it. Sometimes, I was an anoretic but next moment, I was a bulimic. As a result, my weight which used to be around 65kg was sometimes down to 58 and suddenly increased to 85. I was badly weakened physically as well as mentally and began to think of suiside.
One year after I got ill, the company president asked me to quit. It was not an order but I could not refuse it as my working record was already terriblly bad. I wrote a regignation letter.

Suddenly I had an Idea to go to church!

With being jobless and worsened conditions of depression, I stayed in my house all day long with the sense of helplessness, thinking that commiting suicide may be one of the alternative to come out from this situation. My parents were seriously concerned and took me to shrines and temples to be prayed but of course no use.

Then one day, an idea flashed in my mind. I remembered what one of my high school teacher, Mr.S, said to me. He was pastoring for a church.

"The Lord Jesus helps everyone who believe in Him."

So far in my life, I have not even think about God, but I felt this time it may be good idea to try to believe in God. I still don't know why such idear came into my mind.

Next day, I contacted the high school and got Mr.S's telephone number. He was now living in Tokyo. Through telephone, he prayed for me. While he was praying, I suddenly noticed how lonely I was so far but not now. PastorＳsuggested me to go to church. Althogh there was some hesitation in going to church, I believed that this is the only way for me to come out from this current situation. And I joined next week's Sunday service where I accepted Jesus as my saviour and was saved.

Prayer of thanks giving decreased my use of pills

I had no idea how to pray when I started attending church but found an ideal example in ⅠThessalonians 5:18,"give thanks in all circumstances." I tried best to thank for my illness, loss of job and everything which had happened to me. At that time, I was taking more than 20 pills a day, sleeping pills, tranquillizer, pills for depression, etc. I had a deep distrust of my doctor because of the too much medicines and finally changed the hospital

New doctor admitted that I was taking too much medicines and in 3 month time the doctor decreased my medicine by half.

Although slowly, my health began to recover and finally I could take part-time job. I praise God. My praye was heard.

Healed fron insomnia

One year after I started my church life, my use of medicines was dramatically reduced, 4 pills a day. Smile returned to my face but I was still suffering sleeplessness and was heavily dependant on sleeping pills.

Then one day,a friend invited me to attend a Charithmatic meeting.The day was off-day for me and I could join the meeting.

At the ministry time in the last part of the meeting, Pastor P. the main speaker,said; "A sleeplessness of an attentant was healed." At that moment, I didn't think the pastor was telling about me, and used sleeping pills as usual.

Few days latere, however, I began to be very sleepy in the evening. The doctor said that sleeping pills may not be necessary any more. Only the tranquilizer is enough for you. Immediately I stopped using sleeping pills. The doctor was right.I could sleep well only with tranquilizer. Then,I remembered what Pastor P.told at the meeting and stopped even using tranquilizer too. Hallelujah!　I could believe that it was God who healed me.

I could find a job

Freed from sleeplesness, I began to seek a life more close to God. As my part-time job sometimes didn't allow me to attend church on Sunday, I decided to find a job at manufacturing company many of which make the Sunday holiday. The problem was finding job was not easy at that time because of the tough job market.Pastor W. suggested me to pray eagerly and I did so. I was sure that the God who freed me from depression will surely help me this time again.

When a job interview schedule was fixed,Iasked Pastor W.to pray for me. The interview lasted more than two hours but the questuions asked there were rather easy to answer for me. And later on I received a notification of employment!

The Lord saved me from the eartquake.He also freed me from pills.

I could rather easily get used to the new job and its circumsstances. Everyday became the day of thanks giving as I could regularly attend the church every Sunday.Then,suddenly,that Great East Japan Earthquake attacked the whole Tohoku area.The violent shocks of the earthquake which no one had experienced before teriffied everyone in the office. I was sure that this is the time of trial and continued prayer surpressing my fear.Eventually,I could come back home safely and could even secure the gas for my car. I praise the Lord and thanked Him for his protection.

But another problem occurred. The Atomic Power Pland in Hukushima was badly damaged and brought serious problems in the area. The incident and following various problems exausted me so much but I could manage not to use depression pills which I was still keeping at my house. When I visited the doctor, he assured me that I could stop using medicines soon. I then determined not to depend on the pill but trust God and His words.. Finnally, I could completely stop using any kinds of medicines.

Soon afterward, our company's businesses,as well as other company's, began to be very busy due to the demand for recovery from The Earth Quake. The company started over-time works and night works.But I could endure these hard duties without taking pills. Actually, my health condition was much better than before.

Two years after I accepted Jesus as my savior and began to attend the church, my depression was completely heald and I could find a job. And I was narrowly saved from that East-Japan Great Earthquake. My status in my new job was a full-time employee, not a part-time worker. The situation assured me a higher income. My economy was also blessed.

Now I can believe that everything which had happened to me was a part of the God's schedule for my salvation. Through the illeness, He taught me my weakness and led me to the church. Praise the Lord as I can testify what happened to me to many friends!

（Yoshio Goto Fukushima City,Fukushima Pre.）

−(From monthly magazine「Rainbow in The Cloud」November,2011Edition（Rainbow in The Clouds Publications −

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